On the outside I knew that there was a God. I knew someone had to create all of us. What I didn’t know was that Jesus Christ our Savior gave his life for all of our sins. I owned my own company. My wife, myself, and one driver operated our three semi dump trucks. We hauled slag out of the steel mills in Indiana. I drove five days a week, and I worked on the trucks and trailers seven days a week. Any spare time I had was spent with my wife and two children. My son races motocross, so I also had to keep his bike up and running. My daughter was into singing, and pool parties, and wanting to do stuff like going to the movies, shopping, bowling, and mini golf.
Everything I did was for my family. I neglected spending time with my brother, dad, and sisters. I didn’t have time (I thought) to get to know God. I do not want to get into detail as to the exact circumstances of my crime, but I will say that two people lost their lives. I honestly feel that if God was not by my side that day, I would have lost my life. God gave me an inner strength to fight for my life, and I give him all the credit for me being alive. That was my life on the outside.
When I was in the county jail, a pastor from a church my brother attended took time out of his life to come and visit me to tell me about God and our Savior Jesus Christ. He came to visit me almost every week during my 18 month stay in the county jail. The pastor changed my life and helped me find my Salvation Testimony in Jesus Christ. I lost my entire life. My wife was my one and only love, and I lost her forever. My two children do not visit or write to me. I believe that they hate me for what happened that day. I lost my home, business, freedom, and my honest character that I was so proud of on the street. My children lost their mother, father, home, and family security that I worked so hard to provide for them. The other victim’s children lost their father. I know if God would not have given me the strength to defend myself that day, I would be the one dead now.
The children lost the most, but if it was not for all of this happening, I do not know if I ever would have found God and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have a lot of difficulty at times forgiving myself. At times I get angry about why this all happened and feel like taking my own life. If I didn’t have God in my life, I would not have anyone to turn to when time gets rough for me. My life is forever changed thanks to God, Amen.
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