I wish I could say I lived my whole life serving God, but it isn’t so. My path of destruction started with a mere single beer – a casual walk into the ways of the world. Immediately, Satan began weaving his web of confusion and deceit into my life. Drinking led to the abuse of all kinds of drugs. Soon, I was caught up in a lifestyle that centered around my fleshly desires. I was hooked on the world.
My life started with such hope. I am the youngest of five children, and my parents are fine Christian people. We attended our Mennonite church three times a week where my uncle was the pastor. They did an excellent job raising us through the sixties and seventies on a modest carpenter’s income. They taught us the important things in life: a life centered around God, love, church, and family.
Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” You see, I didn’t just wake up one morning and say, “This is the day I’m going to start down a path of godless living.” Christian Truckers was no chip on my shoulder against religion, but I didn’t have fear for the Almighty God. I was a fool.
I’ve been arrested and locked up for being drunk. I’ve sobered up in the emergency rooms of hospitals. I’ve found myself in bushes, fields, and gravel parking lots with no recollection of where I was or how I got there. I’ve demolished four vehicles all within two miles of where I lived.
One morning, coming home from work, I veered off the left shoulder of the road at a high speed. The car dropped over onto its side, sliding along till the front dug in. It began flipping over and sent me through the passenger side window. I landed 75 feet from the car where it ended up on its roof. What took seconds played through my mind in slow motion. “When am I going to land?” I asked God. “When am I going to stop rolling.” Landing in soft grass just inches away from the hard pavement, I know His angels were with me that morning.
This same lifestyle continued, breaking my marriage apart. I was shattered. God spoke to me, but I did not yield. “Oh, I can straighten my life out. I know what to do. No problem.”
My second marriage disintegrated too. The divorce took its toll on me. Bitterness, hatred, and revenge filled me. It was eating me like a cancer. Satan was going in for the kill. Only the thought of my children needing me kept me from crossing the line to insanity.
At this point, I had drifted farther from God than I ever had before. I had no feeling any more. My heart was hardened by sin. No longer could I hear the Holy Spirit calling. No tears of remorse filled my eyes. I started to see my destiny – my life ending in a car wreck. I knew I would be forever in the depths of hell, but I couldn’t change. Though my drinking was less often, when I did drink, it was violent and extreme binges.
In the summer of 1992, after straightening up for a while, I rented a car and spent some time in Georgia visiting my daughter. After returning to Virginia, I had one night left before I returned the car. I met up with an old drinking friend, and the fuse for disaster was lit. After many hours of drinking, we went for a ride. It was a road I was familiar with. Our speed was probably as fast as the car could go. A stop sign came out of nowhere. We crossed the road, hit a dirt bank, and became air born. The car nose-dived into a small pine tree. Both of us rolled out onto the ground in great pain, but we were alive.
A day or two later, reality set in like a nightmare. My back injury caused agonizing pain, and I was unable to get out of bed for many days. I was in serious trouble with the law for leaving the scene of the accident, and the car I totaled was uninsured. I asked God, “Why am I still here?” By all the natural laws, I should’ve been dead.
“Are you ready to change your life and serve only Me?” I heard God whisper once again to me. “Yes, Lord, I am ready,” I said. “But I’m broken, my life is at its worst. How can I ever be of any value to You?”
This truth became very clear to me: if I were to repent and turn my life totally over to Him, He would wash away all my sins and give me a new start even though I didn’t deserve it. I did repent that day with help from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. My life changed from that very day. I have remained sober for 26 years now and counting, and I am free from the bondage of narcotics.
I don’t know how many chances one has with God to repent, but for me I felt this was my last opportunity. I began to fear God. From that moment on, I have been filled with understanding and direction like never before. What was the worst time in my life has become my greatest turning point.
God did not fail with His promises. There was a period of testing on my part and then the blessings came rolling in. He restored my health. He healed my back so I could work again and continue my driving career. He opened new doors for my business. He gave me a new Truckers Ministry wife and another wonderful daughter.
If I could go back and relive the years where I strayed, I most certainly would have never taken that first sip of beer or popped that first pill or smoked that first joint. You may think there is no harm in it, but can you take that chance? The obituaries are full of people that, like me, thought they were the exception to the rule. I now have no desire to be popular, rich, or famous. I only desire to do the will of God and to share my testimony with whoever needs to hear it. My final thoughts come from this hymn: What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see, when I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace. Contact us : Contact us : email jim@step-by-step.org
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